Bargaining with the Almighty

One of the most endearing episodes of R. K. Narayan’s Swami and Friends was when the hero of the novel, ten-year-old Swami, desperate to acquire two annas to buy a tubeless bicycle tyre to play with, is unable to get the money and makes a bargain with the Lord. He cleans the puja room, picks up two clean pebbles, covers them with some leaves and leaves them near the photograph of the gods with a prayer and request to turn them into two coins. He goes to bed with high hopes because he believes in the power of prayer and he had conveyed the message to the God that he is a good boy. The next morning, the pebbles remained pebbles and the bargain with the gods failed.
The special appeal of the novel was that several people during their childhood had tried similar bargains with the Almighty. I have done it several times, on occasions praying for a spell of rain during mid summer because the next morning I was to be given a dose of castor oil (Ugh!) to clean the long suffering stomach. Only one event could save me, heavy rain during the night, because elders never forced down the obnoxious concoction when it rained. But God was without mercy, not once were my prayers answered.
On this OIOP issue on Religion, let me make it clear that millions of us try to bargain with the gods to curry favours which could be minor or major. Boys and girls who seldom bothered about the presence of the Almighty suddenly appealed to God prior to the announcement of examination results that they would be good, obey their parents, would not cheat and so on. Once the crisis was over, whether God did answer such requests or not, it was back to the bad, old ways. The Man above was shrewd enough to see through human hypocrisy of approaching him only during times of need. But then, that is the common human trait.
This is not to decry such practices which are highly common among all religions. Observing Karva Chauth (even the Hindi film style one) is a bargain to get a good husband or protect the existing one. People bargain with gods that they would undertake pilgrimages and worship Him at various holy shrines. Many people do try to fulfill their part of the bargains, though the response is less than favourable from the other end. I guess that would make life too easy.
Instant devotion is not genuine and cannot be rewarded and that is why most of these bargains fail. But family faiths and traditions die hard. In my case, I bargained with God on bizarre occasions, like the result in cricket matches, victory or defeat of certain candidates during general elections and the trembling moments when there were possibilities of exchanging some words with that pretty girl in school! That was why I am not surprised whenever my wife keeps the occasional lottery tickets near the idols in the puja room which also housed dozens of printed matter sent faithfully by Reader’s Digest advertising their special ‘gold’ award. This was a racket because you became eligible only if you agreed to buy their high priced books or CDs. We have never been blessed with the elusive gold.
I appreciate genuine devotion where people give up something while bargaining for special divine favour. Look at the vast numbers of women who sacrifice their crowning glory (long tresses) while seeking favours from Tirupati Gods. Many devotees perform this great sacrifice even without expecting anything in return. That is genuine devotion.
God Almighty must be perplexed at these bursts of devotion. The epics tell of incidents when gods appeared in person and blessed their devotees besides offering them whatever they had asked for. Genuine devotees like Sudama got their wishes without ever asking for it. In more recent times, I do believe that Shah Rukh Khan would have bargained with his God for the peaceful release of My Name is Khan. Balasaheb would have no such bargain. Weren’t the Thackerays greater than any God? And what was the guarantee that God spoke and understood Marathi?

The writer is a well-known satirist.

Contact the Writer